The Literary Giant

or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Alaina

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Location: West Hollywood, California, United States

Saturday, September 09, 2006

American Heritage

Natalie, Tyrell, and I were leaving an eatery when an art student started shouting, "Spelunking!"
"Anthropology Club meeting! Alumni Village!" I generally hate going to The Village, but for spelunking [dangerous cave diving], I would follow the Anthropological prophet anywhere.

Although inhabited by boys, an Alumni Village apartment was conquered by the estrogen-driven Anthropology Club. They then proceded to cook noodles with a lot of garlic for the meeting. I sauntered in, ate three plates of their food and sat on the floor.

The first order of business was spelunking. The three in-charge girls, all wearing long pants in summer, asked for a show of hands for a vote on the trip. They counted an arm from everyone in the room, and the trip was approved. I should have given them my email address and left then; instead I stayed and watched the meeting stumble around from possible museums to on-campus BBQ themes. I only saw that I didn't care about humanity enough.

A girl I had not noticed once for the two hours I'd spent in the apartment raised the necessity for further exploration into Native American culture for the school-wide Native American Heritage Week. If I tapped her, I'm sure a portion of the extracted blood would be of Original American descent. I spoke up with the same thing I say any time Native American Heritage Week is mentioned.
"Yeah, they should serve buffalo meat in the dining hall."
Unfortunately, unlike every other time I've said that, my comment was met with quiet contemplation. And also the horror of Natalie and Tyrell.
"I mean, they always just serve Thanksgiving food. It can't be authentic."
Tyrell recalls thinking, "ALAINA, LET IT GO."
"That's what I was thinking," said the American Indian. "A concentration on authentic foods."

A boy who lives in the apartment walked from his bedroom to the kitchen. He was wearing boxers and tube socks, and yelled, "Purchase Casino!"
I laughed hard and alone.


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